Integrity and Self-Preservation
Dear Cozy One,
This week continues from last week into the world of personal integrity.
Integrity is about honoring your inner compass, recognizing what aligns with your true self, and making choices that reflect that.
But there are times when your integrity comes into direct conflict with your need for self-preservation. There are times when being true to yourself can feel like it will endanger your safety or stability — there are times when you feel you need to please to keep the peace.
“We forgot how to know when we learned how to please.” — Untamed, Glennon Doyle
Pleasing others is a form of self-preservation and protection — it is an adaptive strategy for creating safety and peace. But some of the ways in which you learned to protect yourself are really masking your truth from the world, or even from yourself. But your protective instinct to safeguard yourself against harm — real or perceived — is also essential to your survival.
It is a real circular conundrum.
But both self-preservation and integrity are about maintaining a relationship with yourself based on respect and truth. They both involve protecting your inner world in a way that allows you to show up in the world. Together they form a delicate balance between protecting yourself from harm and staying true to who you are.
meditation
Sink yourself into the cozy nook of your dreams, mind, or reality. Take in a deep breath and let your mind quiet in the safety of this cozy space. Let your tensions drift away with each exhale.
Now, imagine living in your integrity — living in alignment with your inner truths, valuing your values, and making commitments that speak deeply to you. Integrity comes from within and starts with you being honest with yourself.
What feels real and true within your body? This doesn’t need to be some enlightened thought, start simple and feel your truth in your body. Notice where you feel peace. Right now I feel that somewhere in my upper middle. You can name where you feel your truth if you’d like, but it is also fine not to name this part of you. Simply be with and experience what it feels like to be with your inner knowing. Breathe into your inner truth.
Think about moments in your life when you’ve felt proud of your decisions — when you acted from a place of truth, even if it was difficult. Notice how good it feels to honor your integrity, to know that you stayed true to who you are.
Now, reflect on an area where you feel out of alignment. Are there ways you’ve compromised your truth? Did you feel the need to practice self-preservation instead? Acknowledge these moments with kindness, without judgment. Integrity and graceful self-preservation are practices, and each moment is a new opportunity to return to the practice.
With your next breath, let go of any guilt or shame that may arise. Integrity is not about perfection — it’s about consistency, a continual striving to be honest with yourself and others if that feels safe, moment by moment. And consistency is its own practice with its own ups, downs, and pauses where self-protection or self-preservation are of greater importance for a moment.
Now imagine yourself standing at the center of a circle, with the world spinning around you. Reconnect with that place of inner knowing and truth inside you and know that within this circle, you are solid, grounded, and centered.
Every action you take, every word you speak, radiates from this center.
Let it have a voice, a stance, a movement, or any other expression it wants to take.
Feel the power of your authenticity.
Feel how your own truth resonates through your being.
Feel how it empowers you.
Feel how it frees you.
You are worthy of living a life of integrity, a life that reflects your deepest values and your truest self.
With your next breath, feel the strength of your personal integrity fill you and flow through you. Carry this sense of alignment with you as you go through your day and the week ahead, knowing that each choice and each step can be grounded in the integrity of who you are.
When you're ready, gently bring your awareness back to the real space around you.
You are whole. You are true. You are you.
journal prompt
If you could be completely honest about what and how you feel, what would you say?
Say this to yourself, say this out loud, or write it down — there is ZERO requirement to say this to whomever you might wish you could say this to. This isn't about starting a dialogue with someone else. This is about connecting to the truth inside of yourself and feeling what feels true to you, no matter how socially or societally taboo it may be.
play
If your inner voice or knowing had a way of expressing itself during the meditation — how might you now let yourself bring that into reality somewhere you feel safe?
Pay attention to when you lie — or maybe you’re ready to experiment with practicing not-lying. What if you spoke your truth inside and out this week?
If you learn that you don’t feel safe expressing your truth, simply notice when what you say out loud or to yourself doesn’t match with other feelings you have inside yourself. Find a way to express that to yourself — in a journal, in a mirror, or repeat it in your mind — to help you at least reinforce the integrity inside yourself. Notice what it feels like when you do tell yourself the truth.
Revisit your mood board — anything to add? anything to cover up? You are a human and humans are allowed to change their minds. As you work on connecting with your inner truths, the visions and intentions you have for your future may change too. Update this to be current for where you're at now (and revisit this anytime!)